Nepotism or favouritism

Recent incidents in film industry has caused a wide-spread discussion over nepotism and favouritism in Indian Film industry. While large number of people are saying that star-kids have it easy. Do you know that nepotism and favouritism exits in every industry? All the family owned businesses are ran by son or grandson. So why target only the film industry. Also we have seen favouritism as well. All the outsiders who are favourite are doing well in the industry (Self-made stars). We want to see glamour and get entertainment by feeling good. Dharma and YRF understands this mentality perfectly. Show the lead actors as glamorous with new fashion and nice songs with good music and lyrics. You are equally excited to buy tickets and watch the movie. I have seen very few people who understands the art of cinematic world. Also if your favourite actor is in movie,no matter how bad the movie is or his/her acting, we start blaming story, director for showcasing him incorrectly, don't we?

This happens in real life with us in corporates, at home. If your boss is in favour of someone other than you and you are deserving still, do they find mistakes, create them to make you feel your efforts are not sufficient. Either it is done consciously or unconsciously. Unconscious bias is everywhere. We may not even realize unless it is pointed out. Well conscious bias is wrong and should not be supported or promoted. But how do we recognise unconscious bias? 

At first retrospect. See if we are being bias unconsciously. If yes, work on it. How do we work on it? Start putting yourself in there position you will realise if you are being biased unconsciously.

I will give you an example of how-

You may respect someone maybe for their work or the way have achieved success. You work hard to earn the respect from them. You want to be there favourite as well. This is were you make mistake, you started expecting something in return. If they behave biased consciously you will be heart-broken and shattered. So then, how do we make sure that we don't feel disappointed. Simple if you believe you are a good human, than just keep doing good. Don't expect anything, your life will be much better. I know sometimes we respec someone so much and give them all the importance, but in return what you receive? You will be neglected, your work may not be acknowledged, forget about the praises. You are not even a priority for them. Hurts right??? I have experienced it and good thing is I understood how stupid I was to give so much respect to someone who was not that deserving. So what did I do? Simple I decided that I will stop proving my-self to someone. I am here to do good work be it at work or home. It made my life so much better.

So folks as a saint said  "Neki Kar aur Dariya main daal" meaning "Do good and forget about it and don't expect anything in return" or also "Do good discreetly." Live the life and enjoy being a good human. I know being good is difficult in today's world, but keep practicing ;) This is my Mantra from sometime now. 

Change- The necessity of life

Change....the word itself says all. We keep on changing according to circumstances. It is said that "Change is necessity of life". One needs to change during those critical phases of life to move ahead. Sometimes the change which happens is for good and sometimes vice-versa. So how do one change oneself for good things? Change also means flexibility in certain environments. It is said that one needs to be flexible enough to adjust in any environment. I always use to wonder, is it possible to be so much flexible? until I discovered I am myself so much flexible to adjust. Yes, I am. I always thought myself to be rigid, until I joined college. I was their in an environment which was completely new for me, my friends were completely different from what I was. But I never felt I was a misfit their. I moulded myself in such a way that for me it was learning experience. I started observing people around me. For me it was like test or chapter to learn for. I studied all the various types of characters around me and it made me understand the different types of people coming from different stratas of society. Eventually it became my hobby to observe people, to understand their nature. I know it sounds bit weird, but its the most fascinating hobby. You get to explore the variety in human brains and emotions. The main role in developing their personality is their surroundings. Its very simple, we adopt the surrounding in which we grow. It plays a very important role in building one's individual personality. But many people fail to understand this simple concept  thus developing misunderstandings and hatred among each other. One needs to understand the environments in which the person as a child has grown up. It helps a lot to understand their way of behavior after that. It not only helps us understand the behavior, but also the way they think. For me, this understanding plays very important role in decoding the nature of the person better. One can analyse the reason behind person always being diplomatic in his/her approach, or person being straight-forward or brutally honest. Many of my friends come from different surroundings and so they think in completely different way. While some of my friends share the same atmosphere as I shared during my childhood days. They were once very confused with certain behavior of my other friends. I was wondering how do i explain to them, that its not that they behave in such a way purposely, its the way they are behaving since childhood. One cannot change it but accept it. Finally I was able to convince them. It is not that difficult to understand the persons behavior. Just have a talk about their childhood surroundings along with their upbringing and you will surely get all the answers to your doubtful questions. This will put you in a better position to understand the world around you and so will be the world to understand you also in a better way.

Friendship-----A beautiful relation god created.......

Last Sunday I met my friends and; we discussed some very interesting topics. Relations....all kinds of relations. Yes be it your family , your friends, your acquaintances. Friends play such an important role in your life. You need them at every phase, every moment. These are the relations which are made by you. I mean family relations are one that you are gifted with. When you choose friends it is completely your decision to make that person your friend. People say it is so damn important that your friend & your thoughts should match. But I don't believe in it. My best friend with whom I have spent 10 years of my life is so different from me. We are like chalk and cheese. If I have to say north pole, she will say south pole. That's the variation in our thoughts. During school days, we use to argue a lot. It use to debate between us for all the topics we discussed. But still I respect her thoughts and so does she. Why is it that we fail to understand that no two people can think same and create so many problems in such a beautiful relationship? We respect each others thinking and I think that is what has made our friendship survive. We always took effort to understand each other, rather than trying to impose our thoughts on each other. We are not in that much contact as we use to be before. But we do make it a point to meet once in a month. She is now busy with her life chores and so am I, but still we have kept the friendship alive in our hearts. Yes this was taught to me by my mother. My mother's best friend use to stay in different city. They never ever chatted on phone or even letters. When my mom got married they both were separated. But whenever I use to discuss my friends with my mom, she use to always mention her name. My mom's friendship was also similar to mine. My Mom and her best friend were poles apart. Still they are best friends. When my mom heard her voice on phone after 20 years, she had tears in her eyes. That is what true friendship is all about. There might be times when you may lose contact with your friends (of-course due to circumstances) but always keep their friendship intact in your heart. My mom's story is perfect example of true friendship. They never had ego problem, they never had fights, they were always their for each other when they needed the support and the most important thing the care, affection and love they had for each other was so wonderful. I am still trying to maintain those kind of friendships with all my close friends. I still wonder why is it that people fail to understand, that its not that difficult to put aside your egos and become selfless. Why they fail to understand that when a friend is there for you...it's not any kind of politics or its not for their selfishness. I know some people do come with that intentions and you need to be careful. But one should definitely learn to understand who cares for you and who is your true friend. Hope that one day I will be like my mother.... be a perfect friend.....for all my close friends in life, whom I have chosen to be close to me. But as it is said to make that friendship work both the friends have to put effort. But I think if your affection for your friend is true.....one day your friend will realize it. Till that just wait patiently and believe in yourself and yes always keep in touch with your friends......

Life....an unsolved mystery.....

Life...the word itself is such important one. If we try to define life its really difficult. Some may say 'Life is game, play it', others may say 'Life is song, sing it'. But for me life is a word which cannot be defined. God gave us this life & we have to make sure we live it to the fullest. I have learnt this hard way from my past experiences. Life is so beautiful if u want to make it that beautiful. I know that I might be sounding cliched, but its the truth. When I look back at my life, I do wonder gosh I overcame that saddness in my life so easily. But when I was going through that pain, I thought I would never be able to gather the courage to fight back. Yes, I did...& I did it with my whole energy. It was a kind of failure that made me feel, I am no one. My confidence level dropped. Well you must be wondering when did this happen. It happened after my 12th std Results. It was the most painful moment. My parents expected somethings from me & i could not deliver it. The most painful thing was that, I could see their dreams breaking in their own eyes. But they supported me a lot. My brother was my strongest supporting pillar at that time, even today he is. He guided me & gav me the confidence that I have the competencies to do it, & I am not that weak mentally. He told me the incidences when I actually stood up as brave girl in my childhood, without fearing the consequences. He made me realise what I am capable of. After that incident I have always tried to find a positive way or thought in any negative things that happend in my life again. Today while writing this one phrase comes to my mind & that goes like this
"Teacher first teaches u & then takes ur test,
bt Life 1st takes ur test & then teaches u a lesson" .
So be prepared for the tests & come out in Flying colors. After all you have just one life to live & so many things to do. Dont give up at any point. Just keep hand on ur heart & whisper to it "This time will soon pass & after dark night, with new fresh sunlight ur life will also be full of light".